My mind just becomes melancholic though I drank a lot of coffee.

If it is possible, I do want to become a existence like Lucifer
in Milton's "Paradise Lost".
Even if the fate of the world enslaves me, I should fight against
the fate of the world. Even if I become a miserable loser.
I believe that there is no fate that transcends human.
Even if human has each fate.

Without the significance that we live in the world,
we have no significance of existence.

Lucifer praises human who lives in the limited time, not god's eternity

However, I fear that I am able to have just a limited life only.
I have fallen into the idea of existentialism now.